Exams had just finished ... thinking of the future.

Last time i wished to go Express .... now i wish to get retained .... think of being a cop .... Now I think of being a Priest or a Doctor of a church .... i seem like floating in a vast sea .... Imagination Not Creation .... Any rescue team to save me from this sea? .... i believe i myself is the one who can save myself with the help of God.

I wish to sleep endlessly .... but seem impossible .... Learning from my catechism teacher ... St Augustine wrote this " Our hearts are restless, O Lord, until they rest in you. " .... i wondered and asked few people for a few days .... i still cannot find the answer for me really to rest in God.

I cannot even sleep well for my nights (2Month - March to April), every dream is just school, memory went bad to worse ..... Finally on the 7th May .... i had a dream with family on a quiet and peaceful island fishing .... Swimming in the blue shallow ocean catching beautiful fishes for meal ..... I wish this kind of dreams could always be in the nights.

However, I still always think of getting out of this world .... i have no might to die .... i do not want to be selfish and most of all i want to be with God .... enjoying eternal life with him. Preparing for the day of judgement .... Not Yet, but i awaiting for it .... no patience, i want to get all the worries out of my heart, i do not want to face reality ..... I know i am being such a coward. But i wish one day one man could tell me the way to really rest in God.

Will he come to me and tell me? waiting for the answer.